Movie Sunday: Airplane!

Image from here

I was originally going to do a different stupid movie this week, but two things happened to change my plan. First, Leslie Nielson died, and I heard him say, I am serious ... and don't call me Shirley, about a hundred times.  But what really did it was that one of my former students dropped by while Airplane! was playing on AMC, and I realized that he had actually never seen it. In fact, while he said he had heard of it, he really had no idea what it was about. And this is one of the cooler kids, who knows a lot about old music, vintage TV, and delivers Holy Grail quotes on a regular basis.*

I tried to explain it as "an old movie full of stupid jokes, but that's not important right now," which cracked me up, but didn't really seem to help him at all.

Airplane! is like an encyclopedia of comedy. From slapstick to satire, it has examples of practically everything, though it admittedly tends toward the lower forms. But while explaining it to my friend, I was reminded of the time it was made, and the string of disaster movies that made Airplane! the Scary Movie of its time. I guess Leslie Nielson owed the revival of his career to Irwin Allen, at least indirectly.

That was another small irony of this movie. Airport, Towering Inferno, Airport 75, Earthquake, Airport 77, and all the rest, gave washed up old actors -- the kind who today would show up on Dancing with the Stars -- one more role to pay the rent for another couple of years. But Airplane! gave several washed up old dramatic actors, most notably Nielson and Lloyd Bridges, new careers in comedy, at least for a while. As dumb as it was, it really was a phenomenon. This is the sort of thing that's hard to explain to a 22 year-old.

So if you haven't seen it in a while -- or God forbid, ever -- indulge your drinking problem and watch it. You may be amazed at how many of the old jokes you know came from this movie.

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* Your idea of what constitutes a cool kid may vary. But we are talking about computer science majors, here.

Hey baby, how about a little dependency injection?

I think my science computer goober credentials have been pretty well established by now, but occasionally I run across something that reminds me that I am really not like most other people. Today's example is this comic strip, which I thought was the funniest thing I have seen in a long time.

It's only a matter of time before I start showing up at work in my pajamas.

April Fools

I have a pretty good sense of humor. At least as far as I can tell.* I've been known to crack wise, I laugh at good slapstick and smile appreciatively at more cerebral humor, I can remember about one out of a hundred jokes I hear for at least twelve hours, and perhaps most importantly, I can usually laugh at myself when required.

One area where my sense of humor is completely lacking is in the area of practical jokes. I don't know what it is, but I can never come up with a good prank. I never even think to try. And I usually fall for them when people play them on me. Someone gets me every April Fool's Day, even though by now you would think I would see it coming. And I always feel foolish, which I gather is the desired reaction.

In my defense, I know some pretty funny people. They have been known to super-glue receivers to telephones, cover the sensors of optical mice with tiny pieces of Scotch tape, smash eggs on people after blowing out the yolk, and wrap every object in a room with aluminum foil. The Wife even has her own seltzer bottle. Last April first, some friends who had been dating for almost ten years announced their engagement on Facebook. I knew they had been looking at houses, and they had me at "Hey, everybody!"

So obviously, this post is about politics. I avoid writing about politics when I can. I find most people either don't know that much about whatever particular thing is being discussed, or they have their own (sometimes very strong) opinion. If they don't know it's usually intentional -- a wise and legitimate personal choice -- and if they have an opinion I'm not likely to change it. So the only time that a political discussion is normally enjoyable is when we agree, and I have better ways to spend my time than congratulating myself on the wisdom of my beliefs. **

Occasionally the background noise gets too loud, or something comes up that is too outrageous. and I just have to say something. And what I have to say in this case is not that Obama is the devil, or that Palin is a succubus, or anything about Wall Street and Main Street. I want to talk about the tone of political discourse.

Apparently, thirty percent of the people in the United States are convinced that another thirty percent are evildoers trying to destroy our nation. And vice-versa. Seriously. What I believe is that a significant part of the remaining forty percent sort of think that you're all getting a little overly dramatic and self-indulgent, and you're kind of pissing us off. As I recall, that was one of the main reasons people gave for voting for hopey-changey guy. I know enough people along the political spectrum to know that the vast majority of U.S. citizens love the country and want to make it better. We just disagree on methods and priorities.

The only thing people seem to be able to agree on is that our government is broken, yet they don't seem to want to talk about it with the people they hired to do the job. I have been struck lately by how many people preach personal responsibility, and in the next breath talk about how other people need to change. Apparently, there are a lot of people who don't know what that term means. Given the state of our educational system, I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

So I have a suggestion. If you have a beef with what is going on in Washington, please contact the people who are paid to represent you there. If you don't get satisfaction from them, work as hard as you can to get them fired. That's how it's supposed to work. The rest of this foolishness is just going to end up getting people killed.

A better way to express political activism or concern is probably at the State level, or even in your local community, but that's a topic for the next time I'm too frustrated to keep my mouth shut.

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* Hopefully, I'm not one of those people who spends all their time defending their absolute lack of a sense of humor by proclaiming what a great sense of humor they have. Or the kind who always hears, "You're so funny," when what people really mean is, "That's the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my life."

**Shut up.

Fun with graphs

I dare you to look at this graph and not have this song in your head for the rest of the day.

Okay, sorry. I know rickrolling is like, so last year*, but a student showed me this and it took me like a week to kill the worm. And we all know the rule: Chris does not suffer alone. Plus, it's a pie chart. And I love pie.

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* I also realize that "so last year" is like, so five years ago. And the "like" thing started in the 1980's, when the Internet had about 5 users. I'm old, I can't help it. You're lucky I didn't say it was groovy.

At home with Dorkfinger

So, I was browsing xkcd, the comic strip for people who think Dilbert is too artistic or not geeky enough, when I ran across this strip:



First sad thing: I think this is hysterically funny. Physics and James Bond are natural bedfellows, like firearms and alcohol.

Even more telling was what happened when I showed The Wife this strip. A discussion ensued on the exact nature of the centripetal/centrifugal debate, since we were born just the right number of years apart that we were told different versions of this story in school. This kicked off two hours of extensive Web searching, discussion and debate on rotational forces, velocity vectors and the best examples for explaining the concepts involved. If I hadn't been so late for work I'm sure we would have ended up at the whiteboard with something tied to a string on the end of my fish scale.

Little Red Riding Hood

I've been thinking about Little Red Riding Hood this morning*, contemplating its ridiculous plot as well as the obvious (to an adult) sexual overtones, and pondering what sort of life lesson a young person is supposed to take away from this story. I've always assumed it was something along the lines of, "the woods are dangerous and you girls should guard your goody baskets closely," but then I realized that all the action happens at Grandma's house.

Halloween party circa 1999. The "best costume" award was ours when we walked in the door.

Since I can't really abide a fairy tale without a clear point, I'm making a list of potential "morals of the story." This is what I have so far:

• Girls who wear red are whores.
• Even good girls will succumb to a wolf with big enough "teeth."
• A man who wants to eat a girl he just met is probably Big and Bad.
• If you get in trouble, you had better hope that a big lumberjack type happens along that can get you out of it.
• Men who wear flannel and carry axes are good guys, but they are not getting with the Hood.
• Grandmas get way more action than most people realize.
• When you sleep with someone, you are sleeping with everyone that person has ever slept with, probably including your grandmother.
• Your grandma might be a furry.

This is one screwed up story. I can't believe they tell this crap to children. So, any thoughts on which of these is the real moral? Any I've missed?

Happy Thanksgiving.

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* This is why I never talk to people before I've had coffee.

I've never really done this kind of thing before

I don't think I can link to another man's blog in two posts in a row without feeling like we're cellmates and he has the top bunk, if you know what I mean and I think you do. But I'm going to have to do it anyway. Because despite the fact that The Wobbler tried to get me to start blogging as far back as 2003, and The Wife implicitly encouraged me with her near-obsession with reading blogs -- often aloud -- a couple of years back, it was Johnny Virgil's post about the 1977 JC Penney catalog that finally got me interested in reading blogs, and eventually starting one of my own. Really, it's one of the funniest things I've ever read.

So when a Facebook friend posted this picture from his weekend newspaper circular,



I knew I wouldn't be able to let it pass. It's good to know that JCP is still helping losers get their asses kicked after all these years. I guess Every Day Matters because you never know how long you are going to last wearing their clothes.